One of my biggest challenges is that it takes most of the day before I start really "waking up" so to speak. When an article awhile back called this the Dauer State illness similar to hibernation I get that; that's a bit how I feel everyday slowly trying to awake or get adjusted from a deep body sleep. When I'm in Phoenix what I struggle with is that I need the help from morning til after dinner and often right when someone is leaving I begin to have a bit of energy. Like last night, the temperature outside was ideal but I am in a pickle so to speak. I can't really try to go for a short walk or hit a few golf balls because I need to rest in case I get sick in the middle of the night, or Sophie decides she needs to eat again or go outside downstairs, or just in general if I even take a shower and then crash what will I do.
|Still bit confused with the U|
Last night I decided to put caution to the wind and go hit a few chips. It was absolutely beautiful outside one of the few remaining evenings I am guessing that will have even the slightest chill in the air. And that is what is most frustrating at times. I hit about 6 chips and then used my "U" aka utility wedge that I've now used twice to hit towards the tee box. Walked to get the ball and walked back inside. I felt quite good indeed. Which is what makes being awoken at 3am so hot, sweaty and nauseous all the more frustrating. I was up from 3 am to 4 am. I do my new found ritual of looking at FB messenger b/c it makes me feel a bit calmer knowing there are a few random people, especially on the East or Midwest, that have begun their day. I got sick and then felt a bit better. I slept til about 5am when Sophie decided she needed to go outside, luckily I have a little grass patch that she uses on the upstairs balcony. The two of us fell sound asleep, out of shear post sick exhaustion…a bit of okay the worst of the sick is over and now your body can relax.
What amazes me is every time I still wonder, did I get food poisoning? Do I have a flu ? Despite this happening so many times. It's about 11:30am now and I still can't' get any food in. I really can't swallow anything well because it feels like it gets stuck. It could be a bit of post chipping fatigue. Then I wonder could it be I moved some things with the most walking I've done in awhile yesterday? So maybe it's a good thing? I can sip on coffee so I know it's not the flu. So I wait. Repeating it will pass.
And I had last night which was perfectly lovely. Oh how lovely it was….
Attached is the interview with Jen Brea of the film Unrest in Coppenhagen…it is in English after the first minute and a half. I got through about 5 minutes and I just couldn't….just hits too close to home but please watch and share….
Thank you all for reading and supporting. And I wanted to make sure I shared the good moments and so grateful I live in this lovely condo. I do that at night too…I focus on the pillow and how soft my sheets are and how Sophie is in the crook of my legs. How I have nice music to listen to and that somewhere 4am is 6am and mom's and dad's are busy getting up for work and their children's school and it doesn't' feel as lonely.