Friday, January 4, 2013

Control

breathe

Sometimes you just have to watch everything implode.  You can try your hardest to be kind and thoughtful and giving.  You can try your hardest to be loving and encouraging and forgiving.  You can try your hardest to be compassionate and give the best advice you can to help others.  You can try and try and keep on trying and sometimes it just isn't good enough.  Or perhaps it is good enough but it doesn't matter anymore, it just doesn't matter.  And in these moments when you feel like you can't take it one more second the chaos that is around you and the lack of control you have over it; it's a good idea to just close your eyes and breathe.  That you can control and like taking hold of the suction at the dentist, it may not be enough, but it will get you through from this moment to the next.  And the next moment after that and after that and pretty soon this awful pit in your stomach may begin to diminish.  You can look out onto the water and realize you can control the actions of other's as much as you can control the tide, and no amount of trying is going to make a difference.

crash

Then you will do the mantra that you do when you feel so lost you will find gratitude.  You will be thankful for all that you have and all that you have done.  You will close your eyes and know deep in your heart you did all you could with the most pure of intentions.  You will find peace in the silence instead of fear ringing in your ears.  You will find lessons and courage and hope and resilience.  You will continue to try your hardest.

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