Friday, August 24, 2012

can i post this???

I am posting a link to a popular blog - she says you can't reprint anything she i am guessing i am allowed to put the link - read her spoon theory its fabulous....

But You Don't Look Sick

too much blush?

I am lying in bed once again - the tide hasn't completely shifted yet - but as i was lying here i just couldn't stand knowing i look as pale as nicole kidman - and it seems to work a bit better on her.  So i grabbed my mary poppins purse that has a never ending bottom with many random necessities and what else can i do but grab the blush and get rouging!  If you are lying in bed - no one says you shouldn't wear lipstick and blush - as i looked in the little mirror i began to laugh taking me back to our high school french teacher - mademoiselle cooper.

She didn't wear hardly any makeup - but she always had these two sweeping lines of blush - wait no that was my 5th grade teacher...mrs. oh damn what was her name.  It was Mademoiselle Cooper that would meticously look into her little mirror and apply the faintest of lip gloss before our class.  My friend Melanie and I got a bit obsessed with her - that strange pull of intrigue wondering what you teacher is like after hours - In the four years we had her as a teacher the uniform never changed- a Laura Ashley ensemble - almost always dresses - with a matching sweater - different colored perfectly neat Espadrilles in a rainbow of colors - the loose paige boy haircut.  We even decided to join French club trying to make our case for a class trip to France - we were convinced beneath the sweet facade she really didn't care for us - perhaps she saw us slowly driving up Wisconsin Avenue on one of our Friday night adventures to see if we could locate her residence.  But then our suspicions were solidified when the year after we graduated - mysteriously French Club took a trip to France - I am laughing now thinking about our outrage!

When i was getting an echo cardiogram this past week my chatter box self couldn't help but pry and get out as much info as possible from my technician - and it turns out his daughter is a top of the line brainiack (which i am guessing she would tell me is not a word) a double major in Neurology and Psych from NYU and Harvard.  But that led us to discussions of traveling and his families trip to France.  They arrived in an October heat wave - my nightmare - but anyways I told him the first thing I am doing is booking a flight to Paris and then going to Nice when I am better.  My true route will be the fabulous mystery key tour - but that's currently an Everest type goal.

I may have mentioned before, but years before my grandmother passed away and she was moving from her condo to an assisted living she told us to take whatever we wanted.  I wanted two things - the antique brass floor lamp and the keys.  The keys that had hung in her kitchen without much fuss - but were a roadmap of her and my grandpa George's travels - a few years back i looked up all the hotels from the keys - and most were the Hotel International Group so they all still exist - my Everest Dream - is to re-create that trip and stay in the same room - ahh but for now I will stay in bed until this passes with rosy cheeks and red lips.

My Key Dish

W Hotel - Arlington, VA - Palace Hotel Madrid Room 114 - Excelsior Roma Room145
King George Hotel Athens - Room 106 - Hotel Burgundy Paris - Room 45
Apparently My Grandfather and I have something in common - No elevators -
or maybe he knew I would be drawn to do this trip and saved me the worry - thanks - Love You

its 2am....again...

It's been a long day...and therefore a lot of lying around - and then I crashed from 5pm - 7pm - so here I's 2am and I can't sleep - mostly because of how thirsty I am - so apparently I have been dehydrated - and tonight my body decided to catch up.  Its been a cocktail of juice/salt/h2o - then large water and back to the juice.  It would be fine if it wasn't keeping me up - but oh well - perhaps the tide is changing and tomorrow - which is today - is the beginning of a better swing.

I did all my tricks when i can't sleep - however obviously none have worked since i am here typing and thought perhaps i could feel somewhat productive today - even again if its technically tomorrow.  But as i was lying in bed my mind kept drifting to what would i be doing if...its not a good game to play no matter where you are in life - since it doesn't matter because you are right where you are - i have never been much of a planner - more kind of just drifted into different paths.  But I did have a plan when I left for phoenix - prior to going to ND school - i was a massage therapist - knowing i wanted to do something in the health field but not exactly what - then it was the perfect career to have while I went back to school for my pre-med pre-requisites.  Prior to that I had graduated from undergrad with a major in Psych and a minor in Africology - don't blame me on the lame name - no one could agree on African American Studies - but technically it included studies of  Africa too - anyway - i had some of the best professors ever in that department - no matter what they were teaching...after graduation I joined Public Allies - an organization i had volunteered with while in school.  It's a service based program that Americorps was based on , and our valiant leader Paul Schmitz is now quite the fancy pants in the non-profit world - rubbing elbows and ideas with the First Lady and the current administration.

I was an economic development coordinator in Midtown - and long story short...because remember its 2am and I would like to get myself to sleep -and this is was there I became a bit obsessed with the difference in the health of the wealthy and underserved.  Asthma was rampant - just every day colds would take weeks to get over - etc. etc.. so that's when I started looking into medicine more seriously.

So, my plan when I left for Phoenix was to come back after I got my ND degree and set up a Naturopathic Clinic within one of the existing free clinics in the area.  Then, since Wisconsin isn't a licensed ND state - thought I would more train the MD's in more preventive and complementary treatments that were cost effective - once it was up and running I had planned to go to Marquette's Law School - I had already years earlier taken the LSTAT and for not realizing how hard you are suppose to prepare for such tests - didn't do half bad.  That's what i was "night" dreaming about as I call it - during the day I am just trying to get through - I am trying to muddle through this illness and its cornstalk maze of roadblocks and just trying to do the best I can...but at night - I night dream while awake thinking of the what if I wasn't sick - ohh the places i would go.....

It only lasts a bit - and then I remind myself that I am lucky I even had those dreams as a possibility - and its not too late- I just need to figure out how to adjust the sail - or delegate - or perhaps this illness has forced me into the corner to write - which is something I always loved to do - but seemed to busy doing other things besides journaling...

Here's hoping I head back to bed and wake up a bit stronger than yesterday - that's all I'm asking for just give me an inch - and I will take the mile.

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